We do not

Give advice. We allow each other to work out our own solutions.

Pity each other. Compassion is empowering; pity is not.

Judge, invalidate, or belittle. Respect is key to maintaining an atmosphere of trust.

Insert our own experiences in someone else’s story. It can be helpful to share your own experience to help someone else feel less isolated, but please be careful that you are not shifting attention away from that person and onto you if you choose to share your own experience as someone else is needing attention around theirs.

Become overly emotional. Keep in mind that your emotions are your own responsibility.

Interrupt. If someone is in the middle of releasing an emotion, let them complete that release.

Give our opinion. We give attention, not opinions! 😉

Put words into others’ mouths or make connections for them. This is disempowering for others and can prevent them from unravelling their own distress.

Ask irrelevant questions. Satisfying our own curiosity about irrelevant details hijacks the attention away from others.

Analyze. We encourage each other to feel our feelings and release. We are not trained to analyze, and it’s not why we’re here.

We do

Give undivided, loving attention and support. <3

Note: If some of this doesn’t make sense to you, that’s okay! We are all learning this together and there will be plenty of room for that learning curve.

Thank you to Nekole Shapiro of Holistic Peer Counseling for allowing us to adapt her material for this instruction, and her model for our group!